Ingrid Hadley

As it goes these days, I met Ingrid Hadley over social media—Instagram to be exact. Truth be told, I already had my eye on her. I had recently quit my TV producing job, and was looking for people who could be potential good contacts for me to reach out to. I found that on LinkedIn she worked at NBCUniversal—my old stomping grounds. So I did what most of us desperate, millennial stalkers do—I followed her on Instagram and waited for the perfect moment to reach out. But as the Universe does, I got more than just a guided talk on how to look for the next job. Ingrid and I had a phone conversation that changed my life, and it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that conversation was the catalyst that began Lemon-Love. She was real, vulnerable, and the words she so confidently said to me made such an impression on my soul—I NEEDED more of this woman in my life.

Miss Ingrid—as she told me everyone calls her, is a force to be reckoned with. When she says your name, you listen. Not because she raises her voice or uses a forceful tone, but because she says it with knowing ease. Like, she knows she’s about to say something you need to hear, and you know she’s about to drop a gem, so you listen the hell up! This L.A. bred baddie is whip smart, tells it like it is, and always leads with empathy. She’s a “culture disruptor, curator of belonging, and inclusion advocate,” but I like to think of her as The Defender. She’s got a swag about her so raw you’re lowkey envious. Her nose ring is a hint at her confidence, and she’s got a short haircut that’ll rival Jada Pinkett’s any day! Her mouth is admiringly unfiltered and she’ll cut you quick if you try her. She’s the type of chick that you can catch at the cookout straight kicking it—creating corona dances with her kids to the tune of Gucci’s ‘Lemonade’—true story. Listen, she’s lived a life honey, and though she can attend the kickback sans alcohol, she also knows her bible and will be quick to impress upon you the word of the Most High. She’s a Gemini just like my mama, and if she told you how old she was you wouldn’t believe it. I adore her, I’m happy to know her, and now you will too. Ladies, meet Miss Ingrid.

1.) What inspires you to do what you do professionally?

I enjoy making space for everyone. Even if those people don’t share the same ideologies, or religion, or ways to approach work as me. It’s a joy to make space for folks.

2.) What person has had the biggest influence on your life and why?

I would say my dad. He was a giant in my eyes—he was tragically flawed, but he was a single parent and did what he had to, to raise me and give me the best he could. So that meant going to work every day at USC—even when he was offered other opportunities, so that I would eventually be able to go there for free. Our relationship was tumultuous, but the one thing he showed me is that you have to do what you must for the people you love. That’s been my driver, in everything I do.

3.)  How do you practice balance in your life?

Balance is always an interesting question for me to answer. Because in order to have balance, it would say that work and my family are equal—and nothing equals my family. I think that at any given moment, you have to approach each different situation intentionally. I don’t use balance as a daily practice, I use it when needed. I never put my career over my family—so it goes back to what my dad said right, every decision I ever made was based upon what was best for my family. Perhaps if I’d chosen career over family there would’ve been a balancing act but that wasn’t the case for me.

4.)  How do you use your inherited gifts, platform, or particular privilege to give back?

That’s a loaded question. Inherently I’m a fighter, and been one all my life. I was the kid on the playground who couldn’t stand a bully. So if I saw someone being bullied—being the inclusive person I was, I wasn’t a martyr but I liked to fight so if they couldn’t handle the bully I would. One of the biggest privileges I have as a black woman, is my skin color. As a fair skinned woman, I know there’s things that I can say that other people can’t—and I do. I know people listen to me, and unfortunately it has a lot to do with my skin color. Non-diverse people are less threatened by me—until I start talking and they realize I’m a fighter. And with my platform, I love being what I consider to be a truth teller. Social media has been good for me, in allowing me to say the things certain folks can’t.

5.)  What person living or dead would you like to sit down for a meal with?

Harriet Tubman. Harriet Tubman is my girl. She’s my go to, hands down. She was just a phenomenal person; she achieved so much at the height of segregation and confinement. She was the original feminist bad ass black woman. If you have any desire to help your people, and to defend the suffering—she exemplifies all that. And she loved God—I’m good with it.

6.)  What’s your ideal cocktail, wine, or drink?

Ingrid is sober, and has been for years and years and years.

7.)  What’s your biggest vice?

Girl, my favorite vice is sweets. It’s so bad, I love buttercream icing. I will lay in bed, and think about this place in L.A. called Hansen Cakes—it’s an old school bakery, but you can smell the buttercream icing through the box when you get a cake. And I usually get a cake bigger than what I need, so I can just take a huge spoonful and just eat it.

8.)  Name one thing you’d like to be kinder to yourself about?

Not completing my goals. I used to be extremely goal driven, and as I got older I’ve been able to shape and put into perspective what’s most important. I will set a goal for myself, and because I’ve instilled in myself how important things should be to me, I beat myself up about it and become loathsome. I’m very introspective, so if I don’t complete a task I beat myself up because its an easy fix right? Get up and get disciplined about it. But over the past year, with all the uncertainty of where we’re going period, I’m just like God—I don’t know where we’re going but I I’m in the car and I’m going. But there’s certain ducks that need to be in a row before we get there—so its holding myself accountable to getting those ducks in a row.

9.)  What’s your biggest insecurity?

I think professionally, it’s not having post graduate degrees. Just when I look at myself, especially being in the job market, and I look at my counterparts and I see how degreed they are, it’s intimidating to me. You’d never know it, I hadn’t even thought about it till now. Personally, I wonder if I have wasted my ability to love, on people that were never any good for me. I think about the defenses that I have now, and its because all of the significant relationships I’ve had they’ve all ended poorly. When I think about opening my heart to love, I wonder if I’ll be able to finish my life with someone or if I’ll be alone. It’s probably an insecurity and it’s a hard one.

10.) What outstanding goal do you have that you’ve yet to accomplish?

I would like to create a center of excellence in the inner city of Los Angeles. I’ve been working on it; I have a road map for it, some friends of mine we meet every Thursday to talk about to it. It will be my legacy—God’s legacy actually. It’s a give back. And its funny, I wonder sometimes if I’m just supposed to be focusing on that, which is why other things don’t happen. Every resource known to man will be there—counseling, transitional housing, pre-k for young mothers, transportation services, job placement services. It’ll be a mega center!